WRITTEN BY KATIE

Each night that I leave the hospital with Josiah I watch him plead for Daddy to come home. He says he just “wants us all to be together.” He says “I love both of you and I want us all to be together”. And when the final goodbye happens and the car door is shut there is a whimper and a gentle cry that comes from the depths of his broken heart.

This has been an immense load for a 4.5 year old to bear. But not too much for the Lord. Since Daddy worked the weekend right before Emma’s birth, and then we ended up in the hospital, his time with Daddy especially has been cumulatively limited. The feelings are intense and the processing spotty.

He woke up with me this morning and the first thing he said was “I really love my dad”. Yesterday morning, he cut out a legoland coupon into three parts and said one for me, one for daddy, and one for you.

I’m beyond grateful for this tight bond.

May it be unbreakable

My prayer is that the Lord will only use this season to strengthen this unity.

“So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, The crawling locust, The consuming locust, And the chewing locust, My great army which I sent among you..” Joel 2:25 (NKJV)

Last night, Josiah said that “the hospital is worse than stitches, Because they’re not making Emma better fast enough.”

His world got turned upside down overnight as all of ours has. And when he is at the hospital our attention is divided.

He came to me yesterday morning and whispered in my ear that when he was going potty he said to Jesus “Dear Jesus, please help Emma to feel better and me to feel better and mommy and daddy so that we can all be home again forever and ever”.

“…To comfort all who mourn,
To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.” Isaiah 61:3

 Josiah regularly tells me he loves Jesus so much, but when we ask if he wants to pray he often doesn’t. I made sure he knew that Jesus heard every word he said and he loves when we ask him things and tell him things.

But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 19:14 (NKJV)

The faith of my child enriches my own.

“Then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them, ³ and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. ⁴ Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:2-4 (NKJV)

My heart is regularly ripped apart feeling like I have to choose how to best be there for each of my children. I spend the nights at home as of Monday and James stays at the hospital. Truly we’re figuring things out moment by moment. Pray as we continue to make these decisions each moment.

“A man’s heart plans his ways, but the Lord directs his steps” Proverbs 6:9 (NKJV)

“The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, an he delights in his way. Though he fall he shall not be utterly cast down; for the Lord upholds him with his hand”. Psalm 37:23-24 (NKJV)

Your prayers for Josiah and his soul during this time are especially important. That our loving Father continues to provide the support that he needs and that any lasting effects of this season for him are only used to strengthen him and glorify God.

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11 (NIV)

Pray that Josiah will not internalize feelings that the enemy turns into lies. Pray that he receives truth through the power of the Holy Spirit. And through the mouth of those caring for him during this time. Pray that the schemes and lies of the enemy are immediately dismantled and cast out. Pray for outlets, pray for protection over his mind, body and soul.

“For I know the plans I have for you’, DECLARES THE LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NKJV)